5.11.21

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I'm not meant to know the minute details of my internal mechanisms. My overcrowded mind filled with worries of my body's slow decline.

Competes for my attention. I'm hyper fixated on every last passing sensation. Over-equipped with knowledge of how I'm supposed to feel.

This knowledge sends me on an unending chase inside myself. I delve deeper into my guts armed with promises that I can fix my pain.

Exist without pain. If only I concentrate on the perfect daily routines of exercise, nutrition, and rest. Won't I conquer pain.

I'm not meant to know such detail of my inner workings. Life sustaining biology internally housed. Must be left alone. 

My energy is better somewhere else. I am nothing looking in. I am love when looking out. All of them are all of me.

 I fight for myself but never deluded into thinking I'm separate from these Earthly children.